Reply to Tips for dating divorced dads? How to interact with their kids or their mom if you meet them?

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[quote=Anonymous]As a stepchild, I actually think OP has a really healthy attitude.  My stepmother joined the family when I was a young teen and went on a rampage "fixing" everything that was wrong about our living style, all the while insisting that we were one happy family and had to be so happy with all the happiness.

That sucked.

OP seems very realistic and clear-eyed, as well as empathetic to the kids.  That is a really excellent way to be starting out as a stepmother.

With respect to the house, though -- I think the main concern here is that this guy and his kids would end up putting all the work on OP.  While OP is right to be sensitive about changing the house, doing basic hygeine and repairs, and maybe adding some nicer furniture here and there, is hardly that intrusive or disruptive.  But my concern would be whether the kids and their dad actually pitch in to maintain a basic level of cleanliness.

With respect to the kids -- I don't think it's realistic for OP to avoid contact with the kids, but I think it's great to take it slowly.  While it's OK not to be their best friend, I do think you at least need to be able to have some positive interactions with them, and see how their dad relates to them.  They are a huge part of his life, so if you're not part of that at all, you're missing a big part of him.  [/quote]

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