Reply to How to deal with family member who has been accused of sexual abuse

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have a cousin who sexually abused me when I was a child - he was older and would babysit me. We see him at family gatherings. I am polite but would never let my children be around him out of my sight.

I'm not saying this is the right approach. It just is what it is, and I actually think this is very common. I have other friends who were abused by family members they are around all the time. This happens in families. And I would just say you should do what you feel is right. [/quote]

Did you ever says thing about not wanting your cousin to babysit?

I’m just wondering because my DCs much older cousin sometimes babysits them, and while I trust the cousin, I wonder if my DCs would give me any clue that something was going on that shouldn’t.  Dcs are always excited about this cousin babysitting so I have no reason to think they’re being abused.[/quote]

This is the PP. My cousin lives out of state, so he would never be in a position to babysit. I would NEVER let any man other than my child's grandfather babysit them. (Having been raised by him, I am confident he's not a child abuser.) It might be an overreaction, but given what I've been through and know has happened to others, it's my strict policy. Everyone in my family trusted my cousin, too. He was kind of a golden child, a favorite grandson, nephew, etc., to everyone in the family. He seemed very responsible to everyone -- also fun and good with kids. I will say I was never excited about having him babysit. [/quote]

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