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[quote=Anonymous]OP here, some good suggestions.  To answer a few questions:

No, she wasn't my first, not even close.  I had lots of experience, she had some too probably similar.  Sex was plentiful early, dropped down to 2-3x a week before kids but still adventerous enough and that frequency is totally fine by me.

Once the newborn came, it died down to 1-2x a month.  I have put up with this for 10+ years because in my mind it was all temporary.  Just the pregnancy/ newborn/ toddler/ elementary school years.  Or she was on birth control, maybe if I got snipped, which I did.  But yet no real uptake.

At the risk of being arrogant, it's not me as I am in shape, successful, conventionally attractive, wear nice clothes to work and all that.  That I get a fair amount of female attention helps sooth the wife's rejection.

I don't feel trapped, I could leave tomorrow but I don't want to shred my family up over this.  I sometimes wonder if women like my wife just assume I will cheat and if they are fine with that, sort of turning a blind eye and keeping up the lifestyle rather than have sex they don't want to have.  Its a dangerous question to ask, but at the same time, she is smart enough to know 2x a month duty sex is pathetic and will make a man's eye wander.

One post upstream asked a good question, whether anyone has actually counselled or talked or ultimatmed their partner back into a healthy sex life.  I am interested as well if that is even possible.

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