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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DH was/is miserable in a  large family.  He was the odd numbered child, and MIL has metal issues (depressed, anxiety, checked out) - and passed that on to most of the family - so, good times. DH in no way wanted a large family, because of what he went through - he was always outnumbered.  Bad things are magnified, not good things. [/quote]
Don’t you think he would have been miserable with a mother like that no matter what? Curious you pointed out he is odd numbered...what do you mean by that?[/quote]

Kids tend to pair up. Maybe he was younger enough that the next oldest was happier playing with the other older sibling but too old to want to play with the younger sibling?

Iwas the only girl with three brothers. It was fine but the four year difference between me and the two next oldest siblings did not really give me someone to play with. My two older siblings did not get along and wanted nothing to do with each other. They don’t talk now and they are in their 50s. The two eldest were supper bright, bored in school, and constantly in toruble for not doing their school work. The two youngest, including myself, had learning disabilities and ADHD and need a good amount of support from our Mother. My Mom had our learning disabilities and could not help my elder sibligns with their math and science past elementary school and had no clue if they work they showed her as completed was correct or even the assignment.

My older siblings still complain that Mom spent more time helping my younger sibling and I with homework and didn’t do enough for them and don’t seem to fully grasp that Mom could help them with geometry and trig and calculus and physics because she never had those classes. But she could help my younger brother and I and understood how we learned so it was easier for her.

So, a long story short, four kids is a handful. If the kids are different enough it can cause resentment that some people never seem to out grow. Your kids might not play with each other and mightnot like each other.

There is no guarentee. I hae one child because I got married late and decided after my DS was born that I didn’t want a second child. I love being able to give him the attention he needs and that we are going to be able to play for college. I love that we go on three or four nuce vacatons a year. I love that we are able to volunteer for his different activities and that we don’t feel divided. Had I gotten married a few years earlier, I probably would have had a second child but I would not have had more then that no matter when I got married.

But that was my choice. have the family that feels right to you. No amount of advice on the internet is going to help you make that decision. It could turn out great and it could turn out poorly. More likely then not it will be fine. But I would think through finances and what youw ant to be able to provide to your child in the way of college.  [/quote]

Uh, nice life story but none of that really has anything to do with family size. You sound really critical and like you enjoy extensive navel gazing. I bet your kid is both lonely and smothered at the same time. [/quote]

DP. No need to be so defensive and nasty. OP literally asked about experiences in big families. PP is sharing his or hers. The fact you took that shared experience as personal criticism and felt such an irresistible need to lash out should perhaps tell you that maybe PPs story resonated a bit close to home for you.

Would you prefer to that answers to OPs question only be relentlessly and falsely positive? That you never be forced to think beyond your idealized images? If so, why? Are you one of those mothers who smothers any hint of a negative emotion in her kids, teaching them to hide their true selves?

Ask yourself why you felt such a need to lash out at PP, who gave a fairly neutral and sparing account his or her experience. Why?[/quote]

Because she sounds like an entitled brat who has spent too much time in therapy figuring out how to blame all her problems on her mother. [/quote]

Whoo boy. I don't think PP is the one who needs help here.

Best of luck to you and your family. [/quote]

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