Reply to How hard to find a 1/2 time boyfriend in early 40s?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here: I am not divorced. I want a divorce. I never want another man to meet my children. I will never live with a man or commingle my finances ever again. I would like to once in awhile get some action but not involve my kids ever. I would think some divorced men would never want to marry again and seek a similar arrangement. Would not have to last forever. I think it is possible but I think it would be hard to find...I am not ever seeking a full time full out relationship. Annoying at the suggestion I would wait until kids go to college. Um, no. Marriage was the biggest mistake of my life, I’ve waited far too long, and any action would be better then the sexless marriage I have had (many many years...most of the marriage without it). [/quote]

With all due respect, you're not in a situation to discuss your long-term interests, you're saying what you're able to consider now. Anybody can find short term fb and you can too. Beyond that, it's an issue of you coming to grips with your divorce and what you want. I'm a 41yo divorced guy who divorced 4 years ago. I was happy to be non-exclusive for a bit and maintained that for a couple of years. But I wanted a deep committed relationship and found that with another divorcee. I would never have considered a relationship that didn't lead us to meeting each others' kids, because I couldn't care about her and not care about her daughter. It may be a while but please don't confuse your immediate reluctance to recommit with your actual desires. [/quote]

OP here: Another man will never meet my kids until they are out of the house. That is 14 years away. I will never share living space or finances again. I know what my desires are for at least the next 14 years.[/quote]

I agree that until you get to know your new partner pretty well, it's probably a mistake to introduce him to the rest of your family.  So, maybe, 6 months or so? But realistically, how can you even have a casual relationship with  a person if they can never meet your children?    So that means he can never even come over to your house if you happen to have the kids that day?  Because of the off chance he might actually have even a minimal interaction with your kids?

OP, it doesn't really sound like you are even looking for a casual relationship after divorce, in real life.

It sounds like you are working through a revenge fantasy against all men, where the man is available as your sex toy, does your bidding, but has no agency or rights as an individual human being.

I also think that since your kids are your family members, they have a right to have some information about who you are dating, just as you have the right to know who your kids are dating, certainly if the guy is anything but the most casual fling.[/quote]

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