Reply to Police came saying they have a CPS report on me

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP- it does sound like you smacked your kid, but didn't harm him.

I don't know what he sees the counselor for, but he sounds impulsive and angry-- mine reacts far out of proportion to minor events too and it can be really upsetting. This is especially true if you have your own life stress.

It's unfortunate that he told the counselor because it sounds like you were both highly impulsive but I wouldn't (personally) classify this as abuse, considering that you didn't hurt your DS and you had no intentions of hurting him...but maybe, it's a wakeup call that things need to change.

With my son, I've gotten a better handle over the years. Right now (he's in MS), I simply issue the consequences. I also make room for his slow processing speed by giving an instruction and learning to wait (this is hard for me) for him to respond vs. imagining that he's deliberately ignoring me.

When your DS lashes out in anger like that, you are going to have to step back...don't react at all until everything is calm, then issue the consequences. There is no reaction, except no reaction, that will work in those circumstances. [/quote]

Also, OP, I had a friend who worked as a child abuse social worker-- there is horrific abuse out there. I think lumping this in with *that* is not constructive- you're not a monster. You slapped your kid on the head without hurting him or intending to hurt him...but it's not "nothing" either. Your child will remember being slapped and while he may not have been physically hurt, it can affect him emotionally-- both his relationship with you and with the family he will one day have.

All of this  true with yelling- I had to work on raising my voice at my DS and keeping feedback constructive, not overly critical. There are probably plenty of people who are appalled at a slap, who wouldn't hesitate to yell at or berate their child. Those people are hypocrites.

You want to repair your relationship with your DS by really talking with him, and explain that you also, don't handle your anger very well and that you will *not* slap him again and will do better and be a better role model. I think if you apologize, stick to a new plan of more positive (or at least neutral) discipline- your son will look past this to see that you are a good mom--maybe he will take cues from your self control and try for better self control himself. [/quote]

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