Reply to Wives, how often is perfect for you in terms of sex frequency?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Once a week was great for me, 1 kid, 41 yrs. That's enough time for my energy to build up and have multiple orgasms. However DH being an emotionally/borderline physically abusive jerk destroyed my ability to have sex with him. [/quote]
If he's not your ex husband, it can only mean you have an an open marriage. Because those are your only options.[/quote]

He could be nicer to me. [/quote]

If he's abusive why would you have sex? I'd be saving for the big "move out day".  Yes there are options - he can change or use his 2 hands.[/quote]
The REAL question here, and one that you ladies keep stepping right over, is [u]why are you married to an abusive jerk[/u]? DIVORCE HIM!

(... but, I have to say it, because this is an important thing to keep in mind... if you choose to stay married and sexless, your marriage is open).[/quote]

DP So - serious question, if I put out and receive no emotional intimacy, is my marriage open to an emotional affair?[/quote]

Have you made it clear, in unambiguous actionable and measurable terms, exactly what emotional intimacy you need from him? And your needs are reasonable? And your relationship has a long history of him meeting (perhaps even sharing) those very needs? Yet he refuses to meet your needs?

Yes: you are justified to tell him the marriage is open for your emotional affair.[/quote]

Like doing something without kids, not involving TV more than every 5 years -- is that being unreasonable?
[/quote]

NP here, but I would like someone to talk about the future with, fantasize about what we will do after the kids leave, save some money for a cabin on a lake, etc.  I feel like we used to do that all of the time before we got married.  I remember we spent months planning our honeymoon.  
[/quote]

Yep that too.  Cooking weekend meals together or working together in the yard.  Instead he comes home watches TV and wants to do it.  Anything else is like pulling a tree out of the ground by its leaves.[/quote]

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