Reply to My daughter’s future in-laws are horrible

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There are some things you can’t control and this is really one of them.[/quote]

+1. This.  She’s 26, not 6.  You have to let her make her own choices.  If her fiancé is a good guy, that’s the main thing.  Your just going to push her away if you say anything.[/quote]

Exactly.  By 26 you may not have everything all figured out, but you know your own values at the very least.  Either she recognizes that her in laws do not share her values or she agrees with them.[/quote]

I'm sorry, but there is a 3rd possibility at play here...and that is...is it possible, OP, that you may have an exaggerated negative perception of these people due to a good-natured retelling of a story in which cop Father-in-law was in a scary standoff with some bad dudes...and then generalized based on his experience that he is racist/homophobic, etc.? And then was that further "confirmed" when you learned he or they voted for Trump? Or did he not buy into the often-pushed media story that blacks are being gunned down at alarmingly disproportionate rates by cops--and you viewed that as unforgivable?

The thing is, it's tough to be sure where our biases lead us to draw judgments about people today...whereas a few years back you would have just come together on the idea that you both have children that you love...who love each other and celebrated that.

And OP, is it that easy to believe that your daughter has fallen so far astray from the way your raised her and your good, positive, charitable influence? Or is it more likely that she doesn't see the evil horribleness that this family represents because they....aren't actually horrible after all.

Ask yourself honestly...what is more likely? You know your daughter, right??? So is she hanging out with them more because they've got their claws into her and have filled her empty-headed brain full of hateful bigoted ideas?...or is it maaaaaybe because they are fun, reasonable people who don't seem to be wringing their hands every two seconds that the sky is falling?

Just...some questions to consider.[/quote]

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