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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My theory is that since society values women more for looks than brains, then these women got plenty of attention in their 20s, and saw it dwindle over time. Now they manufacture drama to get attention.

Meanwhile older men seem to do the opposite -- check out and avoid drama as much as possible.. Oblivious to it all.

Of course, these are sweeping generalizations..[/quote]Uh yeah.  Not all of us got lots of attention for looks in our 20s.  [/quote]

Hence "sweeping generaliations" but I'm sure a lot higher % of women in their 20s get attention for their looks than women in their 60s![/quote]

There are some older women who never really got attention, so I have to think that their attitude is much worse - they aren't exactly the smiley, happy, fun types - but then again, they probably never were.  DP here. [b]I also think that some older women feel entitled to boss younger women around, which will never fly, in most cases.  Maybe the older women were told what to do when they were younger, but times have changed.[/b]  [/quote]

This. More sweeping generalizations, but the generation of women who are now 65+ were frequently expected to manage the domestic chores, even if they worked, and they largely didn't have the same types of serious careers as their husbands. They were responsible for managing relationships with their MILs, not the sons. They largely kowtowed to their MILs and they were marginalized. They didn't have equal partnerships with their spouses and the husbands opinions carried more weight because they were bringing home the larger share of income. Now these MILs feel it's their "turn" but today's DIL's aren't having it.

Women's intellect and careers weren't valued like they are today. I see many women of this generation who never honed their critical thinking skills because they never had to. They were relegated to mundane domestic stuff so they became very petty and manipulative. Being direct wouldn't get them an equal partnership so they connive and scheme to get what they want. Then their husbands respect them even less because they're so petty. Again, not all women of this generation are like this, but a lot are. My friends and I discussed this a while back, and there's definitely a difference between the women who are now 65-85 and their daughters who are now late 30's-early 60's.

They're also frequently jealous that their DILs have careers and get an equal say as their husbands and their husbands are expected to pull a greater load with the domestic chores (although still not equal in most cases). Then the MILs take offense that the DILs don't have it as hard as they did when it comes to shouldering the entire domestic burden.

This is one of the reasons why I wouldn't stop working unless I became very rich. Many of the SAHMs today have the same issues with a lack of respect and being valued, they're expected to shoulder the entire domestic/children burden, and they don't have an equal say. I think we've come a long way and more SAHMs get this equality than they did 50 years ago, but we still have a ways to go. From anecdotal evidence, the SAHMs who tend to get more respect are those who had serious careers then gave them up to stay at home with kids. Those who didn't have these lucrative careers don't seem to garner the same respect. Maybe the husbands chose these women specifically because they were looking for a SAHM and knew there was no serious career to get in the way. But whatever the reason, we haven't gotten as far as we need to go.[/quote]

Yup.  My mother, who always worked as a secretary in my dad's law practice, even though she had two master's degrees, is SO JEALOUS that I get to go on business trips!  She always makes these snarky, underhanded remarks about how I'm traveling and she never got to do that.  And my mother never actually got paid for her work so even though she worked all the time it was always "dad's money" and "him paying for the vacation" so she never got to have any input.  Still doesn't.    I can definitely see how she feels jealous of the fact that my husband deferred to my preferences when we bought a vacation house with OUR MONEY, etc.  Also my dad never let her redecorate our house, so she's really jealous when she comes to our house and sees that we have a new couch or we painted the living room or something.[/quote]

Wow, I'm sorry PP. [b]Your mom let herself get really screwed.[/b] She did actual out of the home work that had a fair market value for a salary. Still, it's not fair that she's jealous of you. I hope your mom finds a way to get whatever it is that she wants out of life.

I can relate. [b]My mom was a pretty little idiot who married my domineering father[/b]. She resented being relegated to her domestic role and wasn't even good at it. My dad died a while back and my mom wasted another couple decades being miserable and resentful, but now she resents having to make the decisions. I convinced her to move to a retirement community recently and it's like a light switched on. She's having the time of her life and has never been happier (still nuts though). It's the only time she's ever taken my advice because she listens to my brother who doesn't have her best interest at heart instead of me and my sister. So she's still creating her own sexist misery, albeit on a smaller scale.[/quote]

Your mothers were grown women who made bad choices for themselves.  Period.  There were plenty of women who SAH and/or worked back in the day who have gone on to have satisfying lives later on. [b] If they regret how they spent their own lives then they have no one to blame but themselves. [/b] [/quote]

I know women who married to get out of the middle of nowhere situation, and it did not work out.  They are bitter and nasty, just as you would expect. [/quote]

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