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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is OP. I am thankful all the responses.

I feel awful. I am a woman and it is really revolutionary that my dear father went out of his way to ensure that me and my siblings, including all of my sisters were given the best education his money can buy. He pulled himself out of a rural village to make it in the city and desperately wanted us to do and be better. He selflessly made sure we were set up to have more than he did and didn't have any social or academic hindrances.

I have been living in the U.S and work for a nonprofit. I do not earn very much  and I help out with major emergency expenses my parents have. My little brother just graduated from college and doesn't earn very much either but he is already mentally tired of the idea of helping out our family and feels as one of the above posters. That it wasn't his say that he was put in this position. Now that he is here, instead of saving and building his life, he is expected to support his siblings. He always calls hime and yells at my mother about why they had so many kids if they couldn't afford to educate them.

Its become really bad. I feel tremendous guilt but also I don't make enough to cover all their expenses. So I can't truly solve their problems. :\ Feeling very blue.[/quote]

[b]You grew up in rural poverty in India or you grew up in the middle class? [/b]You stated both in your first post but it has to be one or the other.

You need to obtain more gainful employment as you need to build up your own wealth or you will repeat the cycle of your parents. Working for a nonprofit is nice and all but you litterally can't afford to do so.

You can continue to help support your parents but make sure you are also funding your own retirement or again you will repeat the cycle with your kids of going into debt and then needing help in retirement.

Your parents are asking for the whole school fee because you will pay it. It's possible they don't actually need the whole amount and could actually pay some of it themselves. People in serious debt have a scarcity mentality they will hoard cash for "necessities" - food, travel, entertainment, entertaining, and so on. In other words, they have extra money but they don't want to use it to pay debt or any expense that they can get someome else to cover.

Is the debt true actual debt from a bank that requires actual repayments every monthy with a penalty for not paying? Or are these debts borrowed money from family/friends and it's just the idea of owning these people that is the "debt" you are talking about and their is no actual plan or idea to really ever pay them back? I have seen the later very often amongst my Indian friends. They talk about owning money but it's more that the person holds it over their head vs, any actually repayment expected. The "repayment" if you will is the years of guilt.

[/quote]

OP's father grew up poor. OP grew up indian middle class (parents are government workers). OP's father wanted his kids to be indian upper class/american UMC and spent on education - and continues to spend - like those classes do. he is confusing correlation with causation. in any case, OP now has an UMC job albeit on a american middle class salary. that is not enough to propel the rest of the family to indian upper class/american UMC.[/quote]

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