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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think your expectations are unreasonable and you're pushing too hard.  A year is not much time.  It takes five years to blend a family.  And it may never really blend.  [b]They don't have to like or care about you and your children just because you've married their father. [/b] They might never, ever want to have a truly blended family, and trying to force them will backfire.

Tweens are not going to be interested in preschool-level activities.  It sounds like you're expecting them to miss out on things that they actually enjoy, for the sake of watching your 4 year olds do something.  Why?  In an intact family with five children, divide by age would be the norm.

Also, it's normal for 12 year olds to be disrespectful!  It's part of adolescence.  You don't have to tolerate it, but you do need to have age-appropriate expectations.  It's not necessarily because of his ex.  And also, second wife, it's very very rare that the woman your DH CHOSE to marry suddenly went bonkers and all problems are her fault.  There might be a lot you don't know.

Remember that the adults have CHOSEN to put these children through a lot of turmoil.  You chose them and they didn't choose you.[/quote]

So true.[/quote]

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