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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I also think all of you 'don't take the inheritance' posters are missing the reasoning behind the not taking money.

Usually it is either a) our parents are bad or controlling in some way and we don't want to be indebted to them or b) we don't want to hurt their time on this planet by shrinking their funds with our needs.

In both cases inheritance is an entirely different moral quandary that people may approach different. Maybe for some people in the first category it's blood money, maybe they will feel like they earned it by putting up with a toxic parent for so long. And for everyone in the second category it no longer matters.

There is a subset of, 'I can do it myself' people but accepting an inheritance when you have in fact, done it yourself your whole life is not hypocritical to me. And I'm not one of these people.

I think all the takers here think the 'reluctant-to-take' people just don't know how to ask for help. And that we are somehow miserly with our own children. There's a lot of nuance in this though, and so much to do with how you are raised and who your parents are. [/quote]

If it's scenario A (abusive or controlling parents), then seriously, don't take the inheritance.  If you're taking a stand about how you don't need their money because they're bad people, then follow through when they're dead too.  The money is tainted whether the parents are alive or dead.

Scenario B- yes, this is very understandable and one that I would hope most reasonable adult children can see for themselves. I totally agree with you.  BUT, that's not what original PP said. She said she thinks less of people who accept money from their parents and cited examples of house downpayment or schooling for kids that, while some people would be uncomfortable with, are definitely NOT the extremes that others are citing here- chronically under- or unemployed or co-dependent adult children, people who waste money, etc.  So she struck some people as hypocritical because in accepting an inheritance (which we can all agree an adult child is not entitled to), she is in fact accepting money from her parents all the while castigating people who do it while their parents are still alive.  And, she said that she doesn't consider paying for college to be "help," which leads me to assume that her parents paid for hers.  My husband worked 50 hours a week at Walmart while going to college full-time because his parents couldn't pay.  I can assure you he considers having a parent contribute to college to be a big help, in fact, probably one of the biggest pieces of assistance a parent could give.[/quote]

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