Reply to When my DW has an AP and denies it, should I just take the kids and go?

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Reply to "When my DW has an AP and denies it, should I just take the kids and go?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Honestly, she sounds manic. Does she have MH issues? Depression and mood swings?[/quote]

OP here. Not since we have been married but the last 4 months she has acted way out of character.  She went to see a therapist but she said she was fine.  The balance of the kids and making sure the DW is not having mental issues. Im just tired.[/quote]

Based on experience (female here), your wife's affair has [b]taken her whole life over and she has no control of her actions or all the lies that she believes are the truths.[/b][u]  When I had a double life (married/kids and an affair), the excitement of the affair was a different reality from being a spouse with kids.  I thought I was "in love" with my AP and got a divorce from the XH.  The worst mistake I ever did.  Five months after moving out and selling our home, my AP and I ended.  The worst part was how my kids were impacted from having two homes and seeing that I was the individual who caused this.  I lacked the "emotional" emotion to my XH during the time because we both worked and had kids.  There is not one day that does not go by that I could go back to my original life and work it out with my XH.  I truly hope that the DW above has thought this affair completely through.  For me, I was selfish and unable to control the new emotions of the AP.  It was fun but that is not real life - a loving husband and children are what matters.   [/quote]

Its amazing how often women phrase their actions as if something happened to them, not that they did something. You forgot to mention that your kids and their father will forever see a whore when they look at you.[/quote]

Yes.  Trust will ever be broken and when the kids get older, they will know what their mother did.  The affair as infatuation is not love.  People engaged in an affair spend little “real” time together. Most of their time together is spent in a fantasy world free of the stressors that daily life introduces into love relationships. It is easy to maintain illusions and romanticize a relationship if that relationship is based on secret, fleeting meetings with little time for real life to intrude. Love affairs are as addictive as alcohol or drugs due to the good feelings they illicit in the cheater. That “in love” feeling gives the cheater a sort of chemical high. He/she will continue the affair until the relationship is exposed to the realities of day to day life.  Female needs to go home and address the marital issues with her husband and be a mother to her children.  Until she herself looks in the mirror and sees that her behavior is destructive, the affair needs to stop.   [/quote]

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