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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Note:  The standard is "the best interests of the CHILD."

The standard is NOT "what is fair for the parents."

[/quote]

50/50 IS best for the children.[/quote]

Not necessarily. I got off my career path to develop a flexible work plan that allowed me to work and be the primary caregiver.  I was the caregiver when they were little, and now after school. I help w/ the homework, I take kids to lessons, I bring things to school, etc.  It is not 50/50 in terms of contact time even if the overall investment is 50/50. DH's investment is more monetary, and mine is more caregiving. I make a lot less than DH because of our arrangement. If we ever divorced, 50/50 would not be a fair custody arrangement. [/quote]

This is a married couple and not the same thing.  50/50 would be fair as you are making the choice to stay home and in order for him do that is for him to work more to cover the income loss/keep your lifestyle.  He is equally invested but if you are home/not working and he is, you cannot say he is not as invested as he is and that is how you both choose to manage your home.

I stay at home and my husband is equally vested in care but we have different roles as he works and I don't.  In no way is he not 50/50 as a parent.[/quote]

You've missed my point. If we were to divorce, 50/50 custody would not be the best or most equitable solution for us. I made it clear that we are both invested, but in terms of day to day parenting (which is a large part of custody), I do far more of the work. And, I would want some money for child support because our incomes are now disproportionate because of the career sacrifices I've made to be the primary care giver. I'm just talking about logistics. 50/50 sounds equitable, but it isn't always the case in practical terms. But, thankfully, we're not getting divorced![/quote]

It would be practical BUT its really about child support as you've said.  Dad can easily pick up on the parenting duties, but you don't want him to. You want him to go earn money. You'd probably need to bump up your career, so Dad would need to step in more, but you are going to put up that barrier as its all about the money for you.  You use money to justify your existence now as the primary, and will use it later too.[/quote]

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