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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]How does your MIL seeing her nose on her grandchild take a single thing away from you.[/b]

2 of my kids look nothing like me or anyone in my family.  The other one has my coloring, and grew into features like my family but looked like my husband's family for the first 3 years.  None of them could see a single feature that looked like me.

And when there was a feature that resembled me as a child (like curly hair) they could not figure out where it came from (was it a great uncle several generations back???) because they had zero idea what I looked like as a toddler.

Really, truly I understand wanting your kids to look like you, but someone not noticing that resemblance to your babyhood is not an affront to you, nor is you MIL seeing herself in her grandchild

There are plenty of real affronts that a typical MIL makes to a DIL.  Why create a snub where there is none? Why get hot and bothered by a grandma having a perfectly loving and normal reaction to her grandchild?[/quote]

it takes the nose, specifically. now, most people don't care about their nose or any other part in particular, but when a MIL claims 99% of everything, physical, behavioral or other, then that sure gets old quickly - not that you would know because clearly you have zero experience with this.[/quote]

You are picking the wrong hill to die on, DIL.[/quote]

stop patronizing me. I am not dying on this hill (we have much bigger - financial - issue with her as she can barely survive without our help) and never said to my MIL anything about it - I just let her freak out when others point obvious similarities to my family. I want OP to know that her feelings are completely normal and not a teasing for PPD screening as some bitter grandmas here are suggesting.[/quote]

Obviously your issues with your MIL run far deeper than this rather trivial nonsense about the baby looking like MIL (or so she says).  You probably have reason to resent the heck out of her, you don't really even like her and when she compares your baby to herself that just goes all over you.  [/quote]

it's not "trivial nonsense" - it's all related. good people/MIL don't go around and claim everything about their son's babies is theirs. they just don't. it's very likely that OP has or will have other issues as well. i don't mind my children being like my MIL to some extent - she was successful in variety of fields, and she was attractive. she is very industrious. but yeah i would rather not raise my MIL's clone, much less 3 times.[/quote]

You are wrong.

[b]This is common behavior by loving grandparents on both mom and dad's side.[/b]

It only becomes an issue when you have an antagonistic relationship like you do, or when you have something else like PPD happening.

Otherwise, that common grandparent behavior just warrants an eye roll or giggle.[/quote]

this is absolutely not true. i don't know a single case except my MIL (and OP's) where MIL's claims of resemblance are so excessive.[/quote]

I will say that this is fairly typical for the average proud grandparent but it sounds as though your own MIL takes it a step too far to the point where she is taking full credit and claim to the baby - "See it looks JUST like ME!!  You can totally tell that this baby is mine!!" ....and you were just the receptacle that gave birth to "her" baby.

She sounds super obnoxious but just remember - her saying it doesn't make it true.  No matter how badly she wishes it was.[/quote]

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