Reply to At what age would you tell a child about an affair?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My aunt and uncle split up when I was 8 and by the time I was 11 it was normal and I had no interest in why it had happened.

I'm sure this would have been different if it had been my parents. But OP, if you are so invested in what is going on with your siblings (or siblings-in-law) that you are picturing some big reveal of this incriminating  info at an "appropriate age," just know that what would be really appropriate would be for you to not be this invested. [/quote]

Exactly. Your kid doesn’t and likely won’t care. What, would you want them to cut the person in question out of their life? Respect them less? What is the end goal here? You must just want to stir up drama.[/quote]

How about, sometimes people cheat, sometimes people divorce. ... life moves on.

it's not drama, it's the truth.

Why is everybody trying to raise snowflakes. Kids don't' need to be protected from life. [/quote]

Because the only reason you would tell a kid this is for them to form a narrative that the cheating spouse is “bad” and the betrayed spouse is “good.” At least, that is what they will likely take from it. MOST adults (not all) realize that it’s often more nuanced than that - but kids don’t really get it and there’s just no point in asking them to understand the complexities of someone else’s marriage. Again, what’s the end goal here? [/quote]

The end goal is for one parent to turn the child against the other parent for their personal need.  Parenting and marriage are two different issues.  Having an affair destroys the marriage and family unit but has nothing to do with parenting (or then why do Mom's who cheat still get the kids).  Kids do not need to be told.  My Dad cheated, my mom tells me every sorted detail when it happened and still now.  I wish she would leave me out of it given they are no longer together.  Because of their behavior I barely have a relationship with either.[/quote]

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