Reply to Is it ok to host a birthday party but only ask a few of the kids to sleep over?

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Reply to "Is it ok to host a birthday party but only ask a few of the kids to sleep over?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No. Unless she wants to be known as a mean girl and[b] lose those friends who get sent home.[/quote]
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I'm pretty sure the people doing the "mean girl" labeling will be the parents who can't handle the fact that their kids weren't invited to everything, not the girls who are probably more emotionally well adjusted than their parents.  Based on the responses on this thread, I'm sure there will be a lot of mean girl labeling when OP's daughter has the party/sleepover and decides to completely exclude the extra five girls she wanted to invite to the party.  I'm constantly astounded by the number parents who don't understand the importance of teaching their kids resilience and that it's ok not to be included in everything.  You're basically saying that an appropriate response to not being invited to the sleepover segment would be to no longer be friends with OP's daughter.  How emotionally discfunctional is that?  That's basically saying, if I can't be your best friend, I don't want to be your friend.  [/quote]

No, it’s saying if you don’t treat others decently, I don't want to be your friend.  [/quote]

It also always amazes me how many people think that it's okay for them to act in an exclusive or unkind way because kids need to learn resilience.  Why be proud that you're providing the opportunity for someone to learn that people suck?  Yes, my kid needs to learn resilience, and mean people will make sure she has opportunities.  That doesn't mean she needs to be friends with mean people.  Another thing she needs to learn is how to choose friends wisely.

And if someone indicates, very clearly and explicitly, that I am on their B-list of friends, then why isn't it perfectly rational to decide that I'd rather not be friends with them at all?  Are *you* grateful to be explicitly stuck on the B-list?  Does that make you feel closer to a person?  Or does that make you think that you should put your energy into better friendships?

This is not about one or two best friends v. other friends.  We're talking about half the group being on the A list and half being on the B list.  [/quote]

THIS. Of course it's not OK and it bums me out that anyone thinks it is. 
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