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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So who is this guy?  Dh's BFF from college or something?[/quote]

DH's half-brother who brought along his shrieking 2yo. FML. [/quote]

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Of the very few people I know that began relationships with a birth mother or father as married adults (as adopted kids, or affair kids), THEY TOOK IT VERY VERY SLOWLY. 
Did not houseguest with step sibs or parents, did not invite them to weddings out of the blue only months after initial contact, and stated upfront what they wanted. in most cases, they just wanted to know the truth. Rarely did they seek family relations or develop a co-dependency. [/quote]

NP. I would also add that we counsel people who are seeking their birth parent(s) to have low expectations. Low expectations of being welcomed, well-received, or of people disrupting their family structure or holidays or even routines to suddenly include you.  We actually counsel only annual meet-ups as a starting place - not calls, texts, family events, vacations, hosting guests with various extended family members. Besides feelings that could get hurt - of all involved - but very rarely does the average elderly parent or adult sibling have the toolbox or time to process things or develop a new norm or even want or need a new norm. Paternity tests are the only way to start, particularly if one or both birth parents are deceased or denying things. [/quote]

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