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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Just got together with a friend this week and realized our views on life and money are so different that I don’t know how to say anything in front of her for fear she’ll jump all over me.

Known each other for 13 years.  Both from immigrant families. I grew up in NJ, middle/slightly UMC, parents came here from an eastern culture that values stability and wealth.  Parents encouraged us kids to go into the $$$ professions like finance, law, med.  Not much encouragement required for me bc while we had a nice life growing up, I wanted all the things we didn’t have – luxury cars, vacations etc.  Ended up in i-banking for a few yrs and then went to law school, did the big law thing for 9-10 yrs and then 2-3 yrs ago switched over to in house.

Friend – also immigrant parents (different culture).  Grew up in Harlem – middle/lower middle class.  Both of us ended up in biglaw though it isn’t a colleague situation – friends for 13 yrs, hang out together outside of work all the time, some travel together etc.  She stayed in biglaw for ~4 yrs and then went to a non profit.

Got together this week in NYC and it’s amazing to me how much she harped on – money doesn’t matter/is no object (and no there isn’t a DH who is providing or family money).  I have no problem with service to others/taking a pay cut for work life balance etc. IF you have taken care of yourself financially first – solid standard of living, investments etc.  Yet whenever we talk and when we got together she has a way of “talking down” or saying "no big deal" to anything nice that I mention -- whether a new car (not even luxury) or a 5 star hotel. It’s not like I’m the type who is boasting about jetting off to Monaco or a new Porsche yearly, or even talking about things that I personally have/am buying. I’m just talking a regular nice UMC life where you mention – oh saw that new condo building, it looks cool and she goes – ugh no one needs that, they’re ugly, it’s not worth it, what are you really getting living there as compared to a building built in 1900 with no central AC, AC doesn't matter etc.

She harped on how money is NBD and she left biglaw making like 250k (some yrs ago) and her non profit job pays like ~75k and it's perfectly fine.  I bit my tongue while thinking – yeah but at nearly 40 with higher education, not everyone WANTS to live in Harlem (and I don’t mean one of the new fancy construction buildings in Harlem); or deny themselves cabs/ubers if they don’t feel like walking home; or have to even think twice when they need a few new sweaters or suits or a toaster.  All of these are examples that have come up.  And yet she has this way of acting like I’m being a brat for having the view of – I’ve worked hard for a lot of years, I want a nice life and I don’t want to be in a position where my winter coat rips and I try to get by in 30 degree temps rather than just going to a store and spending $300 on a new coat.

Ever have this happen? Did the friendship survive?

[/quote]

OP,  sorry but you sound like a “friend”
I have (of Indian heritage) whose entire life is based around $$, from career choice, marriage partner, to your use of social media to communcate (and exaggerate) your socio economic status.   Your geniune friend does not deserve your “friebdship”.  You get the point?[/quote]

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