Reply to Cheated on husband, now regretting and suffering

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It seems like you haven't thought deeply enough about why you cheated and the fact that you don't want to leave your job tells me you're not 100% committed to a break from the infidelity. Look inward with a therapist.

Don't tell your husband now. It might just hurt him. [/quote]

Duh “It might just hurt him”.

Are you her AP?[/quote]

No. I'm a woman with no skin in the game. I've also been sober 15 years and in that time I've had many tough, meaningful conversations about amends. The idea is that you tell the truth except where doing so would hurt the other person. Then it becomes selfish. Before making the decision of whether, when, and how to share this information with her husband, she needs to do some tough work herself. He deserves her kindness, and that means she might not have the luxury of unburdening her conscience just yet. [/quote]

He also deserves the opportunity to make decisions about his life based on truth and not lies. Not when she gets around to her 9th step or the therapeutic equivalent—now.[/quote]

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