Reply to Wife wants to move from city to small hometown, I don't

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]NP. Wow, the posters here are vapid.

OP, if you're still reading, I'm a wife who would personally hate living in a big city and yet I agree with you. You were up front from the beginning (and consistent throughout) about not wanting to move to her hometown. She accepted that and even assured you that she was in the city for herself, not for you, so you didn't even have the chance to think whether you really wanted to put her in a position where she'd have to make a choice between you and what she really wanted. Three years is a enough time to live somewhere that you could be reasonably sure that she really was living there for herself and not for you, before you decided to settle with her and had kids.

And now she wants to flip the switch and uproot the family (not just you but also the kids) to go do the exact opposite thing to what she agreed on. That's not reasonable. It's very unfair to you, and depending on your kids (their needs, personalities, interests, friendships, etc) it may be very unfair to them too. On the other hand, maybe it's the best thing for the kids. Only you can know that.

Personally, I think the "compromise" in this situation is to look around and choose another town altogether that would be new to both of you and that you both genuinely think would be a great place to raise the kids and that you BOTH are excited about starting a new chapter of your lives in, and consider that. You are not obligated at all to move to her small hometown.
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Thanks. I'm thinking of suggesting we buy a property there that we can initially use as our holiday home, so we can spend more time there without being on top of her parents, and I can have my own space to retreat to.

We'll continue to live in the city for now, but we'll have the option to relocate there if we choose. Once I can get more used to the idea - and as a tester to see if I like it before we sold our current home.

I think that is a good starting compromise.  - OP [/quote]

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