Reply to my wife's thin skin

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The way you write it sure sounds like she's overreacting, but ask yourself whether you are frequently critical.  Sometimes it's not that you didn't like the chair she picked, it's that you criticized the last 17 things she's suggested or done, and this is just the last straw.  Or that you frequently criticize without offering alternatives (so that "let's consider alternatives" really means "you go find some more options for me to consider") so she's making all the suggestions and you're just shooting them down, rather than you offering alternatives.

Also consider your tone.  You might think that the words you are saying are totally reasonable, but your tone might be coming across as condescending, abrupt, sharp, etc.

And the driving thing makes it sound like you don't really trust her judgment, and that vibe gets old fast, too.  [/quote]
Great response. DH has a tendency to only be negative without offering constructive alternatives. I do it sometimes too. We try to keep each other in check...and DH, in particular, will often keep his mouth shut if he doesn't want to do the work to find the alternatives (which is frustrating in its own way, but better than being criticized all the time).

Her all-or-nothing attitude, though, is pretty passive aggressive. Make sure she doesn't start doing that with your kids. My mom was like that. I kind of understand where it came from with my dad...but when you're a kid, having your mom pout and throw her hands up when you're just doing kid things is not healthy.[/quote]

My mom was like OP.  It also sucks to write your mom a poem or draw her a picture and have her send you back to redo it when she doesn’t like it.  [/quote]

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