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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

My sister and her long term boyfriend pretended that my niece was his, but really my sister had cheated on him and he pretended to be the father to save face because they were working on the relationship.  18 years later and it leaked out to my niece and some others in the family.

:([/quote]

How did your niece react? Does she know her bio father? did she feel betrayed by the family?
[/quote]

The only ones that knew the secret before her were her mom and 'dad'.  She and her mom are super close still.  She no longer has much to do with who she thought was her father.  (He and my sister had split up when she was a preschooler but he was very involved in her life until she was in high school and he remarried.)  None of us talk about it at all.  The identity of her real father is still a secret, although my parents are pretty sure they've figured it out.  We're from a small town and there's a guy that looks just like her who always asks them about her.  As far as I know, she has never asked about him.[/quote]

Thanks, PP.

My best friend could have written what you wrote.  She is going something VERY similar.  Her current husband and his ex wife.  Their "child" is 19 and still doesn't know.  It's very sad.

That is why i was wondering how the child reacted. If everyone in the whole family knows the secret, except her, i imagine she'd feel very betrayed.  All these relationships built on lies.

[/quote]

It's a very tough situation.  I think for my niece, the fact that her 'father' pulled away from her when he remarried maybe took away some of the surprise that he wasn't her biological father.  As an advocate for my niece, what has bothered me the most is now that the news is out there her 'dad' has basically given up on the situation.  I don't think anyone realized at the time that the commitment to pretend would be a lifelong responsibility.  She is an innocent party in all of this and has lost not only part of her identity, but also the father she thought she had.  None of it has been fair to her.  I am shocked that my niece doesn't seem to bear any anger towards her mother for it.[/quote]

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