Reply to How much free time is reasonable per day in this situation?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You are making time for yourself by staying up till 1 am and then functioning the next day. [b]If he wants more "alone time" he needs to work it into his schedule.[/b] I have always needed about 2 hours at night after the kids go to bed, and Ive been a stay at home mom and a full time working single parent. You have to make "you" time. If its at night or early am. Your have a small child, the amount of sleep you get is not ideal for years [/quote]

But the OP makes this impossible because she makes sure the son is awake during all of her DH's awake time at home.  Unlike OP, her DH does not have the luxury of being able to sleep in until 8 or later in the morning. He has a job he needs to get to.  So yea, it's all fun that OP stays up until 1am -- but she still gets 7 hours or more sleep a night.  If her DH stayed up until then, he'd only get 5.5 hours a night -- which is not enough to be a good lawyer.

Her DH has a totally reasonable request:  That when he get home at 8pm, his DS will be in bed so DH can have 1.5 hours to himself before starting the grind again.  This is totally reasonable, and is the schedule that happens in the vast majority of homes where one spouse works long hours. Very few people want to get up at 6:30am, work a 12 hour day, and then come home to have to play with a four year old. That doesn't mean they don't love their kid. [/quote]

I think I agree with this. I would be crushed / disappointed if my H wasn’t showing interest in our child. That being said, there’s definitely ‘phases’ of life - both with work, relationships, family dynamics, etc. 
Perhaps right now, DH is in a phase of work work work (for the benefit of the family) and it wouldn’t kill you to help him out right now. I agree it’s silly that he doesn’t consider his “sport hobby” or exercise his free time, but I can sort of see where he’s coming from. Four year olds are incredibly challenging, especially at the end of the day.  Maybe talk to him and make sure he’s on board with you know, having a family, and that you’ll help him figure out a schedule that makes you ALL happy - but you’ll revisit this issue in a year to ensure he knows this can’t be sustained (him having no interest or help with your child).

As a side note - 
1) stop saying “sport hobby”. It’s condescending. 
2) I don’t care what your argument is. Put your kid to bed at 7, asleep by 7:30. 9 isn’t normal and I don’t blame your husband for disagreeing with 9pm. 
[/quote]

9 is a little late, but I don't think it is drastically so.  Our 8 and 3 y/o go to bed between 8 and 8:30, lights out between 8:30 and 9pm.  They get up around 7am (by themselves), so are looking at 10-10.5 hours of sleep.  [/quote]

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