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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  Wow, I can't believe this is still going on.

For those asking: This is not at all the first time they have thrown "small gatherings" of 50 people against my express wishes.  God, no.  We've been married 9 years, and this started with big Indian wedding I wanted none of.  But this is the first time they have asked me in advance, told me it was in my honor, invited my contemporaries rather than theirs, and are doing it without DH present.  They want to claim it is "for me."

In any case, I already told MIL in a text "I think this sounds awkward, and you should wait until DH is there.  This is not my favorite idea, but if it's important to you, I'll do it."  As others said, we do things for family, so I'll deal with it.  But I do want them to understand that they are not doing this FOR ME.  At all.

They are pushy.  DH has been dealing with it his whole life and has disengaged as much as he can.  I am trying to find lines in the sand to draw.  I thought this might be a reasonable one.  Part of the problem is that when I try to draw lines, they tell me I just don't understand "their culture" and I'll insult their friends if I don't {insert event here}.

Pushy ILs are obviously not the worst problem in the world, but they are a problem.  Fortunately, for mine, it's really a socialization thing.  They don't insult the way I raise my kids or have a job or eat when I'm pregnant or anything important.[/quote]

And you'll be trying to draw those lines for the rest of your married life.  You obviously didn't learn from DH's experiences.  Good luck. [/quote]

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