Reply to Is there a non-offensive way to ask where someone’s ancestors are from?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]South American-born, Montgomery County-raised American citizen here.  I speak perfect English, my parents speak with heavy accents.

We get asked where we are from all the time and I have never been offended by it.  It's part of basic conversation when getting to know someone.

It's perfectly ok to ask and the only way anyone would be offended if there is something offensive in your tone or if you ask defensively in reaction to something.

Personally, I'd be more offended if people I'm building friendships with didn't ask me any personal details about me.

[/quote]

But if you said, "Montgomery County," and then OP followed up with more questions because she's curious about your accent/skin color/last name, wouldn't that start to get to you?

I'll admit I don't love it when people ask me if I'm Jewish (I am). It makes me feel like they've got some category of "how to relate to Jewish people" in their heads, and that they need to know before they can continue to interact with me.[/quote]

My maiden name is commonly Jewish in the US but I am not Jewish (my family is Scandinavian).  I'd have appreciated it if people would just ask to clarify rather than making assumptions.  People always just assumed I was Jewish (both Jews and non-Jews).  It's not a big deal but it did lead to misunderstandings.  I never realized how often it happened until I married, changed my last name, and nobody makes that assumption anymore with DH's fairly generic English last name.[/quote]

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