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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Don’t flame me, but my teen has started being openly defiant. I’ve already taken away his phone. That’s really the only thing he cares about. Now that I have the phone, I have no other leverage. For example, I ask him to pick up something that he left in the living room and he says, “No. It’s ok. I don’t need to do that right now.” And I say,”Yes. You do. I’m telling you to do it now.” And he just sits there. What do you do?[/quote]

OMG OP listen to me, please--I had this issue.  Don't go head-to-head like this!  It totally backfires and GETS WORSE!  (Trust me, I know).  DCUM saved me, and here is my chance to pay it forward....buy this book, "Yes, Your Teen is Crazy!" right now on amazon.

And the short story is you are still a good parent if you let him leave his crap all over the house and say nothing, and pick it up yourself when he's not around. (I know, sounds totally wrong, but THIS will work.  It's counter-intuitive)[/quote]

NP here and I worry that if I do this then my boys will grow up to be men who leave things around the house and wait for their wives to pick it up.

My mom used to pick up after my brothers and they grew up to be men who expect this of their wives.[/quote]

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