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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]my teen lost her bedroom door for continued slamming of said door. I finally said 'if you slam that door again, it's gone". she promptly slammed it and it was off the hinges within 10 minutes. 
it was a wake up call that we laugh about now 5 years later.
she does say that I was stricter than most moms but just yesterday she thanked me for sending  her to college with some basic "take care of your surroundings" skills. she  struggled with roommates freshman year who didnt know how to live without their moms (or housekeepers?) picking up after them or providing everything magically (my kid was the only one to buy to for their suite all year).
remember. we are all trying to grow responsible adults.
[/quote]

Losing the door is a logical consequence of slamming the door. Losing the door is not a logical consequence of failing to pick up socks or take your dishes to the kitchen or leave your hairbrush lying around or...[/quote]

You don't understand how punishment works. It is not necessary or even desirable for the punishment to have some "logical" connection to the infraction. It is only necessary for the punishment to be something the target dislikes - i.e., punishment must [i]punish[/i] - so that they understand that when you tell them to do something (or not do something), disobedience will be painful for them. Take away phone, take away screen time, ground them, take away their door, none of this has a "logical" connection to most infractions, but it gets their attention precisely because they dislike it intensely.

It is not a bad thing for them to have a question mark in their mind, "what will mom do if I defy her?"[/quote]

Yes, if obedience to parental authority is your goal, then your approach works (for as long as your child is under your control). But obedience to parental authority is not my goal. Raising a responsible, self-directed adult is my goal.[/quote]

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