Reply to How do you know if your marriage is dead beyond repair

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Reply to "How do you know if your marriage is dead beyond repair—and do you stay for kids?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Unless you have a real desire and need for emotional and physical intimacy being good parents and excellent roommates is not the worst life. If he has said he doesn't want a divorce then you should tell him what needs to happen for it not to happen. If you can't go on this way he needs to see what heed and you need to do together.[/quote]

I just don't want to be with him anymore. There is nothing he can do to change this feeling. I have felt this way for years and years. I have been telling me being roommates is not the worst life for almost a decade now. But now it is really getting to me.[/quote]

OP, you need to let him go, let him find someone new.  I know you're concerned about the kids, but I can assure you, staying together for the kids, as I did, was not good.  They had a rough childhood with parents who argued too much and were obviously completely mismatched.  We all would have been better off if I had called it quits when the kids were very young (like you I was never all in to the marriage but it was on the rebound.)  My ex wanted to stay together in spite of our problems but he was really frustrated at no sex life.  I waited until the youngest was 16 (wanted to wait until 18 but it just got unbearable).   My ex is now happy with a new woman and I did the best thing, finally, by letting him go.  Do it sooner, not later.[/quote]

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