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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, it sounds like your in-laws have no hold over you and your husband except for blood ties. As in, that's their only leverage. They have nothing to leave to their kids or grandkids so why bother to maintain ties with them? Maybe they can have a relationship with your kids but that's it. Just don't put up with their nonsense anymore. It's also quite unusual for white American parents to demand that their adult child takes care of them in old age so I was wondering what your husband's cultural background is. At the same time, I can't imagine it being other than white because coddling addicts doesn't exist in other cultures (I'm Asian FWIW and cannot understand this 'addiction is a disease' mentality either).[/quote]
OP here. DH is the only reason I bother with my in laws. He is very malleable especially where his father is concerned. I made the bulk of the money they are scheming on before I ever met him, so it’s not his to dispose of.  But from time to time, he talks about how we should sell some shares and buy a multifamily house so his parents can “help out” with childcare. I say GTFOH and he comes to his senses again. My in laws live 10 minutes away and have little interest in helping out beyond trying to hand our kids to SIL to prove she is responsible. And yes, they are white. And yes, I agree that fawning over addicts is such a white thing (as long as the addicts are white too). [/quote]

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