Reply to BF's daughter and kids living with us (misery)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here,

Thank you so much for all the responses.  Just to clarify a few issues.  The age difference has never been an issue for us.  I don't want children and marriage has never been a priority to me.  I was very happy living together.  He has 2 kids and does not want anymore so that worked for us.  No relationship is perfect but until his daughter moved in I would say we were stable and happy for the most part.  Now I resent the hell out of him.  The steps he is taking now I wish he has taken 5.5 months ago.  I know he is trying.  I know that.

We talked yesterday and he said she will be taking college courses this summer and he is trying really hard to find her a job.  He acknowledged that he made some huge mistakes and that he wants to do right by me and by his daughter and grandkids,  He says he is going to get his daughter her own place and he will pay her expenses for the next 6 months.  He wants to find her the right place.  He said if it was just her he would be tempted to get her the cheapest studio even if it was in the ghetto but he needs to consider the grandkids.  He is taking his daughter to look at some places today that are in a nice areas.  He is only getting her a 1 bedroom apartment and told her she would have to make due with that and that pissed her off but he shut her down so that is a good step.

I'm not gonna lie I am thrilled at the prospect of her moving out.  He swears that in 6 months if she is not independent he is not going to let her move back in his house.  He said he might continue to pay her bills if she is going to school but she will not move back into the house.  He also said he will make sure she knows not to come by without calling and to never assume she can just drop her kids off.  He says she will be out of the house by the end of next week.  Am I crazy to consider staying or should I keep packing? [/quote]

Yes, you are crazy to consider staying.  My friend, who is 50, has a husband that has adult children from a previous marriage.  One daughter has been a constant issue in their marriage and they have financially supported her on and off for years.  The daughter is now asking to move in to their home, with her 6 yo dd, and my friend is sick about it.  This woman in in her late 30s and has always been financially unstable.  She will likely never want to leave because it would be a very comfortable situation for her with free babysitting.

OP, from the way you describe your bf's dd, she sounds entitled and that she thinks the world owes her something.  This type never gets it and will always be a hot mess.  You are far too young and can easily find a man that does not present these issues.[/quote]

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