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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Wife’s past "
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Some of us tried things early in life, due to experimenting or insecurity or peer pressure or teenage hormones or whatever, and decided that we did NOT like those things. We may have discovered early on that certain things were not enjoyable and we had no desire to ever do them again. The fact that she tried things does not necessarily mean she enjoyed them. And if she didn’t, she is under no obligation to do them again, ever. Her sexuality isn’t a gift that she owes anyone - if she didn’t like it the first time around, why should she keep doing the same thing? And would you even want to engage in an activity that doesn’t bring her pleasure, just because she let someone else? That is thinking of her as an object to be owned, not a person you want to please. [/quote] If she tried it once, didn't like it and never did it again, then I agree with you. But if she kept doing it with guy(s) then either she didn't really dislike it all that much or she doesn't think her husband is worth the time. We don't know the answer to this, whether she did the particular act(s) lots of times. If she did, and OP wants to do these things, then yes, I think she should be willing to do it for him too. Otherwise what does that say about where OP ranks with those other guys? No, don't say "well she married him and not those guys" ... maybe those other guys dumped her or else she would have wanted to marry them more. Does she "owe" it to him? That's a strong term. But not doing it implies that she was more interested in sexually pleasing her prior flings than the man she promised to be with the rest of her life. With regard to OP's wife allowing him to unwittingly pal around with her previous ONS, [u]that's messed up[/u]. I would feel like such a fool if my wife allowed that to happen to me. She didn't have to tell him about it necessarily, but she should have found some way to separate them to protect her husband -- the man she [i]supposedly[/i] loves -- rather than sitting back and enjoying the show. Bottom line, OP, as someone else said is what are you going to do about it? You can forget it, stew on it the rest of your life, divorce or cheat. That's really the only viable options. If you know you can eliminate some of them right away, you are better off. Stewing on it will eat you up inside. Cheating sucks. Divorce seems harsh, but it is probably the second most viable option, unless there was a lot of dishonesty to you about her sexual past. The best choice has to be forget it, which you already know to be true. I'm a dude, I get where you are coming from, but you are roped in here with no other graceful exit but to move past it. [/quote]
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