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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It is true that my parents spend more time with us and that they generally know more about our lives than my DHs parents do.  That said, I put genuine work into maintaining a relationship with my family and he does not.  Add to that, my MIL simply cannot accept that we do things our own way and will not do things her way.  Some of “our way” foes come from my upbringing and some we created on our own.  This causes problems for me and her son.  I think the largest issue is that DHs sister does everything MIL thinks is correct so it must be a DIL problem.  I gave up and my DH is in charge of his family and we have therefore not traveled the 3 hours to see her in over 4 years.  His choice, his family.  I think this is more common than not.[/quote]

You have just succinctly described the issue, except you've added finger pointing instead of evaluating it objectively.  The truth of the matter is that women shape households.  Your mother shaped yours when you were a child, and you are now shaping your own family based on your upbringing (of which your mother was in charge).  To your MIL, that's not her way.  Her daughter - whose mind she shaped in her own household - is now shaping her own family based on her own upbringing, of which MIL was in charge.  So, she naturally feels closer to her daughter and her children - just as your mother feels closer to you and yours.  Daughters and their children are a natural extension of their mothers in a way that sons aren't.  Call it what you wish. It's still true. [/quote]

+1[/quote]

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