Reply to Talking to husband about his all American diet

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]My white husband had a diet like OPs husband growing up.  So gross.  Lots of hot dogs and American cheese.  Dinner was a protein (Usually red meat or lots of ham!), a starch and a tiny garnish-like serving of vegetables.  I do not enjoy the meals at my in- laws. [/b]I was born in America and of Indian ethnicity.[/quote]

In my case, it is difficult to come from a family where food is valued, and marry into a family where food is an "obligation", and not part of a positive part of life - but something to quite literally, rush your way through to get away from the people at the table.  In my family, food and warmth were part of the celebration of life.  What WASPs might consider loud - laughter (never at anyone else's expense - unlike the ILs), talking and sometimes even singing -  were the norm.  One was never cold or closed off or competitive - that would be called out immediately, as would any negative behavior against another person - especially family!  Again, opposite at the ILs.  It is a big transition, but do what you can do, and admit that your husband was raised differently, and what is okay for you might not be okay for him, and vice versa. DH was raised here and to me, suffered (among other more important things) a rotation of about five dishes, all having basically the same ingredients, none of which you or I would consider healthy, and all half heartedly, hap hazardly and reluctantly made from a place of obligation and resentment - definitely not from the heart, as you and I know it. To you and I, that is no way to live.  To my DH, that is "family", however depressed and depressing.  I come from a family of impressive cooks, and it was a big transition, but (and I hate this phrase, but it applies) it is what it is.  I exposed DH to celebrations at my families, both sides - so he could see for himself what a warm family looks like, including amazing food.  That is one of my gifts to him and my children. We meander through some holidays at the ILs, but always have a back up celebration at our house, so DCs have that. Just wanted to share, OP. You are not alone. [/quote]

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