Reply to MIL pulls me aside and tells me I am burdening her son

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.

I work as a marketing manager and make a decent salary and am planning to go get a graduate degree. I have paid for everything on my own since we started dating except that my DH would buy me dinner.

In our marriage, since he earns more, he pays for rent and groceries. I buy groceries every few weeks too and pay for gas for the car. I also contribute half to our car payment and pay all of our car insurance.

I am the only one contributing to our savings and am saving aggressively for my 401K. DH doesn't have one yet as he is paying off his school loans.

I do not see how MIL perceives me as being lazy and a moocher.

And God forbid I want to stay home and have to rely on my husband. HOW is that a problem?

I told my DH what his mother said he he blew up at me saying he cannot control his mother and she is her own person and it makes no sense for me to complain to him about her behavior.

I feel dejected and alone. I feel like my personal boundaries are being invaded and no one is helping.[/quote]

Your husband is paying every dime he has towards rent, grocieries and his student loans.  in the meantime you are buying gas for your vehicle, car insurance, chipping in for groceries every few weeks and socking money away into your 401K.  You are making out like a bandit being married.  Your husband not so much - he is paying for all of the rent, most of the groceries and has no savings in his 401K to show for it.

Obviously, your finances are not my business but I don't think that your husband would be unreasonable to complain about the way that finances are handled.  I would personally want my husband to contribute to his 401K to at least get the employer match.  That would benefit you both in the long run.  Assuming you are in it for the long run....

That said, your MIL should stay out of it.  Her son is a big boy now and he is more than capable of making these decisions for himself.  [/quote]

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