Reply to Working partners, do you resent your non-working spouse?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP Here...thanks again for those who posted thoughtful  and honest replies, it makes taking the tough replies a little easier.  Answers to what I'm hearing the most....

In re: does your husband seem happy?: Yes. Husband is happy with situation, but of course I want to be mindful of how he feels which is why I check in with him about this every so often and why I started this thread. As someone upthread mentioned, if you are going to be a housewife you have to be the best housewife. You'll just have to take my word for it but I think I am pretty damn good at it.

In re: Men don't want lazy, unambitious wives and You are a sad, boring, shell of a human with no purpose:  I am educated and [b]hardworking[/b] and am not a "lazy wildebeest" (that was a good one). I have a bachelor's degree and for the first 8 years of our marriage I out-earned my husband by double, so I didn't just waltz in and jump on the gravy train. I also didn't mention my hobbies or interests because it didn't seem germane to the question I was asking. But I have several interests/hobbies and friends/family that bring "purpose" to my life.

In re: I am bragging about my situation by posting here: Are you on crack?! I've read enough around these forums to know you don't come for a self-esteem boost. I legitimately wanted to hear about people's grievances because I want to be mindful of my situation and avoid doing anything that would cause resentment. As I said above my husband does seem happy, and tells me that he is...so I just wanted some outside perspective.

Well, that was long and I've probably lost everyone...but I do have a question for the people dragging me for not working. Did you marry your spouse because they would add to your bottom line? Or did you marry them because [b]you wanted a partner [/b]to share life experiences with and because you enjoy their companionship? Isn't it possible that my husband could appreciate me for the non-financial value I add to his life? Or simply because I don't go out and bring home a paycheck, or because I didn't birth his child he can't really respect or love me? That seems like a pretty dim view on marriage doesn't it?[/quote]

Hey, if both of you are happy, knock yourselves out.  But, two things:  (i) based on what you described, you aren't hardworking - not even close, and (ii) you aren't a partner.  At least, not an equal partner.  In law firm speak, you are the third year associate - someone who keeps things running smoothly, who the senior partner likes, and who performs a valuable function, but is in no way irreplaceable.  You're the very definition of fungible.  [/quote]

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