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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, honestly, I bet if you hadn't shared that you are biracial, you'd be getting far different advice.

These progressive DCUMs are still a bit biased, even if they don't admit it.

I am black, and I may as well be a SAHM as I work on a very part time basis, for very, very little money and the small amount I bring in is spend on silly things. I do the work I do for a family business for fun.

My DH (also black) completely supports this. We have been together since college and I made it clear to him early in our dating that I wanted to stay home once we had children. We went to a top SLAC and both have graduate degrees (his from a top 15 school). White women are always shocked to meet a black SAHM. They almost always assume that I am a nanny at parks, classes, etc - even though my child looks exactly like me (skin tone, hair, features).  There are more of us than you would think, but many of these white women don't think we should be breathing their same rare air or something.

If this is your deepest wish and desire, GO FOR IT. Just know that nothing is promised or guaranteed and plan for a rainy day as well.  My DH puts money away into separate retirement accounts for me, and when I did work FT, I saved a ton for retirement. I worked FT for 11 years before having a child.

Put everything you have into nurturing your marriage. Be a good partner. I find it much easier to be a good mom than a good wife. The mom gig comes naturally to me and I have to work harder to be a good wife.  The poster who mentioned you are trading one boss for another (the husband) is somewhat right. SAHMs don't like to admit it, but if they were regularly getting poor performance reviews, they likely wouldn't be in their jobs forever. So, do keep that in mind. It doesn't bother me. My husband and I have a great relationship and partnership and he values what I bring to our family and I value him. I know the burden of being a breadwinner, as I supported us for a few years when he was in grad school. So I truly respect and appreciate the sacrifice he makes for our family.

The things that work for us: My child is in preschool a few mornings per week. I love that I get to actually send him to a true preschool and not a daycare. He gets the play and learning in and then comes home for a nap and we have so much time together.  I still have a biweekly cleaning lady. I will make any kind of sacrifice to never give her up. It helps me run my household with cheer. The fact that I never have to scrub my bathrooms, and only do daily maintenance is just fantastic.

DH still has his chores and tasks around the house. His domain is Yard, trash, appliance maintenance, anything having to do with cable/internet/phone, and home security. Also Drycleaning.

I run what we eat, what child and I wear, child's day to day activities, and classes, how our home is set up, mail management, daily cleaning and organization. I also run social calendar for DH and I and the child.

What we do together: financial planning, travel planning, big picture education decision making for the child, laundry.

Good luck finding your partner OP. I am sure someone is out there for you and you can have a great life![/quote]

Why do you think she's getting bad advice here bc she's biracial? We've listed EVERY kind of job where men want SAHWs from biglaw partners to drs. to military/foreign service to football coaches - not leaving any out bc she's half black. You act like we're saying -- oh you're half black, find yourself a rapper then.[/quote]

+1. Yep, none of the advice here seems influenced by her race. We've even mentioned religions (Mormonism, Catholicism) which don't have high African-American populations. [/quote]

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