Reply to What's the most selfish thing your spouse has done?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]He got upset when I told him I'd need him to stay with me overnight in the hospital after I gave birth to our daughter.  He'd been hoping to sleep at home then come back in the mornings and was very upset he had to sleep on the uncomfortable recliner in my recovery room.  It wasn't our finest moment but honestly, we were both so exhausted after a multi-day induction that neither of us were thinking clearly.  It was a single moment of dumb@ssness from an otherwise wonderful man.  [/quote]

Is it really so bad? I wouldn't want to sleep on that stupid recliner either and if he's just going home to sleep and coming right back in the morning... why is that a big deal?[/quote]

Because I hadn't slept for 48 hours.  Because we were in a "baby friendly" hospital that provided absolutely no help with the baby besides coming in and yelling at me for doing apparently every single thing wrong, they literally wouldn't even hand me the baby if they were already in the room.  Because the call button in our room didn't work so if there had been an issue, I couldn't have alerted the nurses (I tried shouting and they didn't hear me).  Because my epidural didn't wear off for hours so I couldn't stand up to get the baby on my own.  Because, even after the epidural finally wore off, I had a 3rd degree tear and needed help getting out of bed each and every time and needed help getting onto and off of the toilet.

Because I needed him there.[/quote]

You sound really needy. [/quote]

NP here, and I guess I'm needy too. I did send my husband home to sleep though and totally regret it. I needed sleep too! Instead I had to care for a screaming newborn (they're not all "sleepy", you know) after having been awake for days and having had surgery. [/quote]

Approaching this from a purely logical standpoint (which I realize our human emotions are not always logical, and this is not necessarily a justification for your DH staying or going home), but assuming you were breastfeeding/attempting to breastfeed... what would DH have been able to do? If your baby was screaming, you both would be awake... so you wouldn't be getting any sleep anyway. And he would be unable to feed the baby, so pretty much practically useless (although he could have provided emotional support.) I'd hedge a bet that by him getting some decent rest, he was able to be more alert and therefore helpful/supportive the next day.

To be clear, I'm not addressing the above poster who says she couldn't get the baby out of the bassinet on her own, etc (although wtf kind of hospital were you in where nurses were not available to help you use the bathroom, get out of bed, didn't have call buttons, etc.?) [/quote]

My husband saved our newborn from choking our first night.  My labor was pretty fast and turned out she had some amniotic fluid in her lungs- he heard her choking and got to her quickly (much faster than the nurses would have).  I don't think I could have done that without him there- I was pretty out of it.  Support and peace of mind mean a lot when you've just had a baby![/quote]

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