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[quote=Anonymous]OP, the more you post the more I think a big part of your problem is trying to develop a social life around your kids. I have two kids, whom I adore, but they are a handful. I really don't want to put in a ton of extra effort to invite more kids into my home or make my weekend schedule more hectic than required by birthday parties in order to meet up with someone and have to monitor how my kids plays with theirs. Honestly, what I want in my life is an excuse not to make every non-working moment be about them.

I was originally thinking you sound a little high maintenance with your inability to understand why people don't reciprocate, but now I don't think that's true. I think if you invite someone over for a huge meal, it's not unreasonable to expect some kind of invitation within the next year. But you seem to be telegraphing that the only types of events that would be acceptable to you are kid-centered (I know other people who are like that also). These are absolutely not fun for me to plan or go out of my way to do with other people, and so I'm not going to make friendships based on doing those activities. If you invite me, spouse, and kids over for drinks and having our kids play...that would be fun and worth the effort for us. But if when you get there we are stuck in a playroom and having it be all about the kids, we will invite you back once for politeness but not go out of our way to be your friends...since it would seem like you are more interested in entertaining our kid than in meeting us.

I do think it's a rude that no one has reciprocated your invite, but if it's a huge event on a major holiday, they probably feel like you just invite everyone you know and reciprocation isn't strictly required.

I think you really, really need to separate your efforts to build a social circle from trying to plan stuff for your kid. It's natural that most of my friendships are compatible with my kids (i.e. some friends who have similar-aged kids, childless friends who nonetheless don't mind going on walks with me and kiddo in stroller, etc)...but it's very clear that the friendships are about the adults. The things you are posting about would not make that clear to me at all.[/quote]

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