Reply to C-section or natural after 3rd degree tear?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]God, who is this person who also knows about Handa and Dietz!!!  Wonderful!!!  When I had my child in 2014, I was so badly mangled and I felt like the only person, in the subsequent months of trying to put myself back together, who knew who they were.  Thank you for highlighting their work.  To the adamant vaginal birth person who has posted previously: You can sing your song after you have walked in my shoes.  I cannot hold gas, or soft stools.  Constipation pushes my rectum into my vagina.  Evacuation has to happen edigitally because all the hard stool goes to where my levator ani used to be, and guess what, there is no anus there.  My sexual enjoyment - what's that?  I am a giant hole with three prolapsed organs (uterus, bladder and rectum) hanging in it, and no levator on my right side to contract for any sort of pleasure.  Did I forget to tell you about my intussception?  I really notice that when I am constipated, because when I can finally evacuate the stool, part of my colon emerges from my body.  Thankfully it goes back in.  But I dont know if it will when I have menopause someday.  And did I mention my nerve damage (again, sexual enjoyment), enterocele and general daily pelvic pain?  Or what it was like to not be able to life anything over ten pounds after my son, or how it feels inside when I have to tell him i cant carry him or pick him up?  FWIW, arguably the most prominent midwife practicing in the district was in the room when I delivered.  So, fuck your sanctimony.  You try being me first.  For the rest of your fucking life.[/quote]

Holy shit. What a nightmare for you pp! What happened during your vaginal birth? I've never heard anyone have any of those problems you mentioned. I'm so sorry for you. [/quote]

I'm not PP, but I'm not surprised you haven't heard. Women are shamed into not talking about their problems with vaginal birth. By contrast, C-sections are expected to be hard so it's easy to talk about C-section complications.

PP isn't alone or unusual, unfortunately. [/quote]

PP is not alone, but she is unusual, actually. Just as the horror stories and death from c-section are unusual. The majority of women, regardless of birthing method, give birth without incident. I am very sorry for PP and her experience, but you have to recognize that her case is extreme and unusual.[/quote]

I have heard you make this statement before on other threads, PP, and frankly I find you to be callous, rude, and insensitive. First of all, please cite evidence stating that most women give birth without incident. You can't just make blanket statements based on dogma and ideology from the natural birth movement and not back them up with facts. So if you're going to make a gross, blanket statement about "most women" and their experiences, back it up with something. Where's the research? Show some citations.

Frankly, I find your lack of compassion to be unusual and extreme. Did you know that an estimated 25 percent of women have one or more symptoms of postpartum PTSD and around 9 percent of women have full blown postpartum PTSD. This is just emotional trauma, not even talking about physical. Would you deny that these women exist? Would you tell them that they are "unusual?"

Also, how dare you dismiss someone's suffering and traumatic experience? Are those really appropriate words to use for someone whose quality of life has been destroyed? How dare you try to invalidate someone's experience by marginalizing them as an outsider, when the reality is that millions of untold women around the world deal with these issues? There is so much stigma around them that most women are loathe to speak out, and when they do get the courage they must face trolls like you who are going around promoting natural birth agendas and ostracizing anyone whose story does not fit the narrative you are promoting.

I find you to be extremely anti-woman, and I hope that you are not in any position to be around, caring for, or supporting pregnant or post-partum women. You have no right to invalidate someone else's experience. [/quote]

Lack of compassion? How is it dismissive of someone's experience to point out that the experience is unusual? And yes, the extent of PP's injuries is unusual. Acknowledging that does not diminish her suffering or her experience. My best friend nearly died in childbirth from an amniotic fluid embolism. Her experience was horrifying, and she suffered from PTSD (not sure what your rant about PTSD was about - I never mentioned it?). I love her like a sister and I hate what she had to go through and continues to go through. I support her efforts to spread awareness of AFE and donate money. All that said, her experience was unusual. Saying that does not dismiss the gravity of it. She says the same thing.

I am not a part of some "natural birth community" like you seem to think. I did not birth my own children "naturally." You seem to have a lot of anger, and I believe it is misplaced.[/quote]

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