Reply to Dating around and "having fun" in your 20s is pointless. I should have settled down

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Reply to "Dating around and "having fun" in your 20s is pointless. I should have settled down"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]These things all boil down to luck. I met my DH in college,  married soon after,  had kids in my mid 20s, stayed home while they were little,  and [b]embarked on a career in my early 30s.[/b] I feel like I had my cake and ate it too. I did not plan this, I just happened to meet a good man early in my life. [b]I have friends now changing diapers in their mid 40s who have had to mommy track their careers. [/b]The unexpected benefit of meeting my DH early in life, was good for our financial security. I feel like these things boil down to being at the right place at the right time and being in an emotional place to accept love when it comes.[/quote]

How is being 10 years into a career in your 40s any different than mommy-tracking your career in your 40s, from a responsibility/career trajectory/income perspective?

I ask as I am a woman who has mommy tracked her career at 40. I'm making 6 figures because I have 20 years of progressively responsible experience, I just don't have a demanding job.  In my career field, I couldn't make the salary I am, in the job I have, if I had just started my career 10 years ago.

Now changing diapers in your 40s, I'm not saying that is ideal.  But that's another story for another day![/quote]

I dont speak for all women. I can only speak for my experience. It didnt take me long to catch up and hit that 6 figure mark. I think because i was a bit older, i was given bigger breaks based on maturity perception and maybe a subconcious bias that my employer knew I was done having kids, which i of course always slipped in at interview time to explain my gap. It sucks, but i think as a woman if they know there won't be any leave to give for babies or the inevitible inconsistency that happens when women have infants and young toddlers at home, makes for easier promotions. At the same time, many women were falling back, it made more room for me. I'm now the only woman on my level at my company, I only have male peers, all with SAH wives or divorced guys.

This is just MY experience and how the cards fell. Don't get me wrong, when they were in elementary,  it was a juggle, my DH had to adjust and we had to get an excellent nanny who could do some housekeeping/meal prep when the kids were in school, since for me, going to work after 7 years of being home with kids was baptism by fire.[/quote]

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