Reply to Refusal to change your last name makes me question your committment!!

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Reply to "Refusal to change your last name makes me question your committment!!"

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[quote=Anonymous]Red flag!  I would be very concerned about his change of opinion on this topic and how he all of a sudden really cares about this and wants you to make a major change in what his stance was before that dramatically affects your identity, etc.  If it is around commitment and wanting whole family to have the same last name, is he even willing to engage the conversation about other options (new joint last name, including your name in both of yours, etc.)?

I hate the whole tradition of only women changing their names... but I also like the idea of family members all having the same last name.  I really think the tradition needs to change to married couples coming up with new last names together.  I was very torn on what to do when I got married almost 20 years ago.  I did end up changing my name (even though DH said he was very supportive of me keeping my name), and sometimes I still wish I kept my name.  We have a great marriage - so it has nothing to do with a marriage in trouble.  It just feels so one-sided and unfair to my heritage and another example of how our society isn't very supportive of women.  Even women in the Middle East have a tradition of keeping their last names and they aren't exactly known for their pro-women stances.

Good luck but this topic clearly requires some more conversation before you move forward with the marriage.[/quote]

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