Reply to i want to become a SAHM, but we can't afford it

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I get a kick out of some posters believing all one has to do is declare to your boss you are going to go part time, telecommute, find a better job that pays double what you make yet still go part time or telecommute. You people have DCitis and don't know how the real world is. My husband's admin tried the above. She was fired. Last I heard she was working for another company and working longer hours for less pay. And those 10 plus years of vacation time, sick days, whatever ?  They no longer count in her new job. She's starting over from scratch.

When the decision to become a SAHM is made, sacrifices kick in and it's not easy. OP's in a particularly painful position. The reality is she cannot quit working because her husband's health doesn't allow it.  We all didn't marry Mr. Money Bags.

Her wants no longer matter.  Life is mean sometimes. [/quote]

Exactly this. These decisions are not easy and have professional consequences. Moreover, [b]being the sole breadwinner (as her husband would be, if she SAH) is stressful, and stress is terrible for someone with MS. It can lead to accelerated disease progression[/b].[/quote]

PP with the DH with MS here, and +1M to this.  I would never do this.[/quote]

I am a single parent with MS. I am therefore responsible for both the paycheck and the insurance. I work a job similar to OP’s husband. I don’t feel stressed to the point where it is exacerbating my illness. I made sure I had ample savings (which OP and her husband can build up before she quits her job). I have disability insurance.  I have a plan for if my health deteriorates. And i don’t have the fallback of the other parent returning to the workforce, even in an admin capacity to get insurance. It’s not as dire as everyone is making it out to be, but you do have to make sacrifices.

But I agree with PP who said OP doesn’t really want to quit her job. She wants to whine because working and parenting is hard. If she SAH, she would probably whine that SAH is hard too (because it is—not trying to start that debate here). Yes, OP, being an adult is hard. Suck it up.[/quote]

I'm glad that you haven't gotten to the point where stress is exacerbating your illness. Unfortunately, my husband has gotten to that point.

I'm not trying to whine; I made it clear upfront that I just needed to vent, as I think most people have to at some point. [/quote]

Your husband should seek therapy with someone who has experience with chronic illness. His neurologist should have recommendations.[/quote]

PP with the DH with MS here.

You are tone-deaf.  I imagine that OP's DH is getting the help that he needs.  Mine is in therapy with someone who has experience with chronic illness.  He also sees a neurologist specialized in MS, a psychiatrist, and a GP/internist.  He is on MS meds, antidepressants, blood pressure medication, urinary incontinence medication, and I forget what else.  It all helps but none of it is a magic bullet.

You should seek therapy to become empathetic.[/quote]

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