Reply to Boy is pursuing my DD and won't leave her alone

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My dd just started her second week of high school, when a 9th grade boy began pursuing her romantically via Snapchat and won't leave her alone. She tried ignoring him and has told him she's not interested, but he is not giving up. Part of me doesn't want to make too big a deal of it, I mean he's bound to give up at some point, but it's also a little weird. She is absolutely not open to us involving the school, and I'd rather not create a situation that makes her life more difficult socially. I'm just so annoyed she has to deal with this. Any suggestions?[/quote]

Have your DH talk to him, this is where fathers and brothers come into play. He needs to understand pursuing your daughter against her wishes won't be cost free.[/quote]

Because a "no" from a girl/woman only counts when the message is delivered by her male relatives?[/quote]

And the violent consequences for noncompliance that it implies.[/quote]

Because boys/men only have to heed a "no" from a girl/woman when her male relatives promise violent consequences for non-heeding? What kind of a world do you live in? Evidently not one where women have their own agency.[/quote]

NP here - It's not really a question of the world that we live in, it's a question of the work that the kid believes he lives in.  Isn't that obvious?  I am all for teachable moments, both for this girl and her pursuer.  But at some point, it's time to stop teaching and require that the borderline harassing behavior stop, immediately.  The daughter has told this boy, repeatedly, that she's not interested.  It hasn't worked (though it does appear that she could be more forceful, but isn't willing to).  At some point, someone may have to intercede.  The question is, who will have a better chance of getting through to the kid, a pissed off mother or a pissed off father?  Like it or not, a 14 yo boy likely is going to take an angry man, with the implicit threat of physical violence, more seriously than an angry woman.  It that right?  No.  It is unfortunate that simple requests aren't sufficient?  Yes.  Does he need to learn to respect women and their decisions?  Of course.  But there comes a point when the behavior just has to stop, and we need to be realistic about the best way to accomplish that.  At that point, "the way things should work" really doesn't factor into things. [/quote]

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