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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP - you've gotten some great advise.  Don't worry about those that say you can't live a complete and fulfilling life as a great mother with a great job -- they just haven't been able to figure it out.  You have to be super organized.  You have to not care too much about what people say about you.  You have to always know that your kids needs come first.  You have to outsource things that *you* don't think are important for you to do.  If you care about planning birthday parties, do it.  If you care about meal planning and cooking, do it even if you can afford other options.  If you care about running carpool, figure out how to rework your schedule to do this even if you can hire a chauffeur.  The PP who said to talk with your kids about your work is absolutely spot on.  Show you kids what excites you - read science books with/to them.  Go into their classroom and talk about how you approach a research problem.  I am also a scientist.  I went into my 6th grade DD's science class and talking to kids about some physics phenomena.  My DD told me afterward that she has never felt more proud that I am her mother (and 12 year old girls are not known for showering praise on Mom).  I am not able to make all her field trips.  I am not able to volunteer in classrooms all the time.  But when I do go in, I don't pretend to be someone I am not.  Kids can spot a fake a mile away.  I will never be a pinterest queen.  I will always be a bit blunt and perhaps not as sympathetic as others about girl drama.  But I love my kids so very much and present the best me I can for their sake.  That's all you can do and it will work out for you.  Your kids are the children of a medical researcher not a SAHM - and I believe they will be the richer for it when you just accept it.  Just like the SAHM can't suddenly become someone she cannot be, neither can you.

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Love this, being true to yourself is so important. I don't bake bread or hang around the pool with my kids on summer weekdays but I have my own strengths.[/quote]

OMG - you both sound just like me!!! (Except I have boys.) My kids have always known me as a working mom, and went to a daycare so their "norm" was two working parents. Now that they are older, they can do so much of the house chores that eat up time, but value my just sitting and talking with them when I am truly available to them. And let me tell you - career day was such a blast for me, and for DS. (I'm an environmental engineer.) It was so awesome seeing his pride on his face while I explained what I do. [/quote]

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