Reply to ONS had a child - How screwed am I?

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I come from a culture where many dads think their role is basically providing for the kid plus maybe some weekend fun, if that.
Many have accused you of cynicism but yes, I know several examples where dads were not involved with their first kids but caught on and received their share of parental experience in their second marriages or just when they became older. 
However, I also know of situations where despite getting married or remarried later in life and having more kids they still didn't really have much of that father child bond; the problem is - it is not enough to even live in the same household; one has to have an interest and sensitivity (if I may) to the child's needs and personality to develop that bond, let alone spend time with child in a productive way (not just share the living space).
You are either eager to be a dad (which eventually makes you able to be one) or not. It may change with age, or it may not.
Listen to your heart, however difficult it may be for a hyper rational person like you. If you are not interested in trying to be a dad, are you interested in becoming interested? It is doable through personal therapy. But if you are not, it's best to not even pretend. Once (if) you feel you are ready to learn, you can learn and hopefully make amends with your child. If not, there ARE some women naive or cynical enough to still be with you despite your lack of interest in parenting. 
Good luck.
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