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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm 5'8'', wear size 8 at 160 pounds, and I disgust myself.

If I was a size 14, I would think any attraction to me likely comes from a very niche audience.[/quote]

Sounds like you have low self esteem. If you have digits for yourself, how is that going to attract others regardless of size? Confidence goes a LONG way. I'd rather date or marry a confident with extra weight that a small sized women who loathes herself. In regards to size I think you'd be surprised.[/quote]

Sometimes low self esteem is just common sense. I don't delude myself that I'm in good shape, at least. Masking it with "confidence" is being deliberately blind. I know how I look when I'm in a better shape, and how much I SHOULD weigh.  Confidence should not be used to mask fat.

There is no such thing as attraction regardless of size.  Smaller size gets more attraction. Stop making things up to pretend it isn't so. [/quote]

You are perpetuating a problem we have today in our culture. Confidence does not mean you should be masking anything. It does mean loving yourself and accepting who you are (but you already knew that). Self esteem absolutely does not equal common sense or eating disorders would not exist. Your post discounting others options does not make it true. Some people have low self esteem no matter how thin they are. Haven't you ever heard of anorexia?![/quote]

You and I look at this differently. I don't love my physical self when I'm 20 pounds over my preferred weight, and I don't want to accept it, I want to lose it. I don't think overweight women should be encouraged to "accept" their bodies the way they are. Your position is basically to shield someone from the knowledge that something is wrong with their bodies because it might make them feel bad.  The self esteem I meant has nothing to do with your human or personal worth; it means that when you're 20 pounds heavier than you ought to be, that you feel bad about it. That's normal. You SHOULD feel bad about it. You should strive to change that, not strive to normalize that in your head. [/quote]

You're right. I do disagree with you wholeheartedly. Usually those who are overweight and are told to "feel bad" about themselves get depressed therefore eating more and gaining more weight. Often family members feel the need to intervene and some pick on them in hopes of helping them lose the weight, when in fact, they are exacerbating the problem.

I can see your point though, about having a drive to get more fit. But confidence and self esteem are key. Hope you are lucky enough to have someone around you that supports your weight loss AND tells you that you are beautiful no matter what and truly mean it.

- former overweight woman that lost 70lbs [/quote]

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