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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] 
But I digress: what I didn't like about Rachel's behavior in the finale was that her words (I knew what I was doing) and her actions (acting as if she wanted/needed Peter) did not align, and that doesn't jive with what we've otherwise seen of her from the past two seasons. [/quote]

This exactly. I think the backlash is based on her actions vs. her words. In her defense, she didn't get a chance to process the truth. She saw the break-up and how they felt about each other on live tv with the rest of us and i think she panicked. (I know for a fact i would too.) She put up her defenses and came off as less than genuine -- which was not who she was throughout her run. [b]In a way, ABC set her up for the backlash by combining the after the rose show with the finale[/b]. I don't think she deserves the hate she's getting and I do think if she allows herself to rewatch that breakup and see what is so obvious to anyone with a pulse, part of her will regret the outcome. That sucks for her.[/quote]

I felt sort of bad for her.  Like who at ABC doesn't like her/must be all about the ratings.  I agree that Rachel had her defenses up.  She even answered Chris honestly that she didn't want to be there.   I don't know that I would have handled it any better either.  Not that this may have been the case but I read an article the other day about the "strong black woman" stereotype and while it is given as praise etc, it can also have a downside that you can't have those moments of vulnerabilities and everyone expects you to be strong all the time.  Also can also be used to almost give a pass to behavior of the guy.  Like she can handle it if the guy does her wrong. She isn't a sweet Southern flower that needs to be protected. Someone was mentioning how the Bachelorette Emily said she would be "straight hood rat" and went off on Kalon.  He apologized on air and she rejected his apology.  Everyone in the audience cheered and it made the top 10 Bachelor/Bachelorette moments.  I don't think Rachel gave even  1/10th of that emotion and she is being villafied.

Yes, even though Rachel could have fake accepted his apology for the one comment, she chose to keep it real.  Even though Peter said "I shouldn't have said that" I would want to know, well why did you?  I really didn't see Peter being vulnerable.  Yes he said he was shaking and and practically crying before coming out but what for?.  I saw nothing in his actions that said anything other than "Sorry I couldn't be on your timetable".  So he always had the power in the situation even in the "apology". It's like people said, there were so many times you would have thought he was the Bachelor and she was the contestant. Nick with all of all his issues, when he was in Andi's season I  think was really in love with Andi and admitted he was hurt.  Peter would say "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you". Not "I was hurting because xyz, and I felt this and instead of handling it this way I tried to hurt you".  He apologized without owning anything, sort of like when I make my kids say sorry when they hit each other but you know it's a #sorry/not sorry.  Or the "sorry, I have a sister that does xyz that puts me in a situation that I need to apologize" - that's my personal favorite.

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