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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why?

DH promised that it was mistake and yada yada. But there's a baby. A baby he has to take care of for the next eighteen years...[/quote]

This happened to me a year ago.  DH had a long-term affair that resulted in a baby.  He sees her regularly and will continue to do so. I thought about divorcing him but decided against it.  I cope by relying on a few clear rules and conclusions about our situation:

- he made a bad mistake and a series of very bad choices.  With that said, there is no reason for me to inconvenience myself with the hassle of divorce and split custody, and go through logistical pain on top of emotional pain.

- I have no ill feeling toward the child, it's not her fault at all.  Her mother won't allow her to come to our house, but I would welcome that.  She is in a very bad situation, undoubtedly. But - this is very important - I take zero responsibility for her pain and suffering.  She is in a very bad situation but I didn't put her there.  Managing this pain is her parents' job, not mine.  The reason her mom won't let her come is that they live in a small apartment and we have a very nice house, and she doesn't want her daughter to see "how her siblings live."  Well, that's how they live. Deal with it, or don't, that's not my problem.

- in that vein, I have no ill feeling for the child, but supporting her is not my job.  I had DH sign a postnup and waive all claims to my assets. Should he have a change of heart, he will leave our house only with whatever he brought in.  My income, my pension, my investments remain with me. Upon my death, these go to a trust that someone else will manage.  My money is for my children. I'm the breadwinner in the family.

With all that said, I don't wish this on anyone.  This is a terrible, very painful, very humiliating set of circumstances for the wife. It's not easy to deal with at all.  I'm trying to make the best out of a very bad situation for the sake of my children and my family unit.

[/quote]

Does he support the child?[/quote]

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