Reply to Would you stay at home with small children, or wait for more work flexibility for kids when older?

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Reply to "Would you stay at home with small children, or wait for more work flexibility for kids when older?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

Are you kidding?  We see this all the time.  Someone says they SAH because it's best for their family.   Then someone predictably and defensively responds that in *their* family, both parents wanted "equal" amounts of time with their kids and so they decided for both parents to work so they'd each be able to spend exactly the same amount of time with their kids.  Which makes zero sense when they could have one parent spend a lot of time with them instead, giving the working parent far more quality time with the kids than they'd have with two working parents; all the errands and chores are completed by the time working parent gets home, as well as free weekends without scrambling around, trying to get everything done.  That doesn't leave quality time for anyone.

So yes, this circular reasoning is seen all the time here on DCUM.  It's a result of the defensive bean counting mentality in which all things must be split 50/50, even when it makes no sense and results in less quality time for everyone.  [/quote]

No, that's not all the same thing as "the father couldn't stay at home, therefore the mother also didn't stay at home". That's -- both parents wanted time with the kids. And if both parents wanted time with the kids, then having one parent stay at home full time and the other parent work full time does not accomplish that goal.

What you're saying, basically, is that you think parents who want equal time with the kids are wanting the wrong thing --- what they [i]should[/i] want is for the kids to have a stay-at-home parent. But people get to want what they actually want, not what you think they should want.[/quote]

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